After reading West's recent post, describing the circumstances in which he met, befriended and fell in love with his sweetie, I had an epiphany about myself.
I'm stuck in Beta and everybody else, well, everyone else is rocking DVDs. I am trapped in a dating time warp. I still view relationships the way I did when I was a young girl. You meet, you date and then you get married. Not a good outlook for dating in the 07.
I don't want to date a guy for umpteen years before we get married. I don't even want to go on a bunch of dates with someone while they figure out if they like me. This may sound crazy - but if you don't know if you like me by the 2nd or 3rd date, we have a problem. By the second date - I at least know if I don't not like your ass. At the ripe old age of 40 I know what I want. I know what I like. I know what kind of person I'd like to spend my time with. I expect the same from men who are my age. If you know what you want, how long does it take for you to figure out if a person is not it? Damn.
I know I've said it before, but I don't think dating has to be so complicated. First of all - if two people are completely honest with each other, it doesn't take long to at least figure out who you don't like. Damn.......damn it to hell! If you tell the truth about why you're dating and what you want the other person has the option to decide if they are on the same page. Hell, in the same book.
West and his girlfriend are cool with their situation. They are on the same page.....well, I haven't spoke to her personally. Ha-ha! But, if she still with him after 6 years of dating she has to know he's a slow mover and she must be okay with it. (Maybe she's the slow mover, let's be fair here.)
Me, I don't have 6 years. I'd like to be married in a couple of years. Do you know how much sex I could have with my husband in 6 years ?!? Do you know how many trips we could have gone on together?!? How many long talks and walks........and presents, he could have bought me a lot of presents in 6 years. : )
What's an analog girl to do?
10 comments:
Thanks for the birthday wish and the introduction to your blog!
I love it!
Ms. Tee
Welcome Ms. Tee! Look forward to reading your comments. : )
Angie I am soooo with you!!! I would die if I had to "date" for six years. I read to post and IMMEDIATELY thought, "Ok so when is he gone marry her ass?" lol. But like you said, if they are on the same page, then more power to them. I wish them nothing but happiness, after all, marraige isn't the end game for everyone.
I think about relationships the same way you do. I like the "natural" order of things, but I'm not totally opposed to the more unconventional avenues (you see how much online dating I've done lol). I just know for me, none of those avenues include a 6 year stint as "The Girlfriend".
To Ms. M-Boogie Brown (my new name for Mahogany!) Thank you! It's good to know I'm not the only one out here thinking this stuff. And you know what West and his honey may have a relationship that is more solid than some marriages - but there's something in me that wants to be married. Maybe unconsciously I think marriage frees me up to do all the "stuff" I want to without any inhibitions. Who knows....
This was so good!!!You are right, you have to know what you want & what you like!
Girl it's time to get digital :-)
Exclusive in 2-3 dates, eh? Interesting.
West, I don't expect you to get it! : )
Hey I feel ya Angie!
No West, not exclusive in 2-3 dates, but not a lifetime either. In this day in age analog or digital 6 years is a long time.
This is true. I have an cousin who dated her now husband for TWENTY YEARS...before they got married! I guess he had to make sure she was the one too.
Like Russell say, DO YOU!
With dating these days, people always send their sharp representative until the real them starts to surface.
For me, there's no way in the world I am going to date someone for six years and I know I want to be married...HOWEVER, like Judge Mabelean said, "Think deep before you leap".
Guess that's why I am still single...but I kinda like it.
Wow, this is like being in someone's living room, while they all pick on the one person in the tight-knit group who said something they thought outrageous. Ouch!
I understand the feeling of knowing what you DON'T want. My list is very long right now, with a picture of my Truly giving it form and definition. *sigh*
I think it most important to know what you don't want, and to be able to glean if the other person is on the same page as you. So...on with your power dating, woman.
Good luck.
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