Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Serial Dating 5 - No thanks, Mr. Limpy!

It's so nasty here. Not just snow, there's slush, ice, and black ice. Like most things black, the black ice is treacherous - and caused me to slide face forward into the hood of my car. I'm over the snow and cold. I loved it when I first moved here, now, not so much. I can't wait for Spring. However in my quest to find a winter match to warm my toesies, I date on.

This match was a product of The Ghetto Dating Site. Which equals bad. But as usual it started out okay. He showed interest, we chatted and then talked on the phone. I wasn't too interested because he isn't as thick as I like, but he is tall, so I thought I'd hear him out, give him a shot. So we go through the usual, what do you do, what do you like, how's dating going, blah, blah, blah, blah....... When we got to what he does for a living he recited some long drawn out story about having worked at a bunch of places, etc., etc. So now monkeys are dancing in my head and I'm thinking about my homework, the fact that I want some potato chips, and that I'm sleepy, now humming the song "Sista" from the color purple, and I hear it....."that's when I shattered my knee ankle and I'm on Social Security"....... What the?! Social Security? Why the hell? So I tell myself, "lets recover as quickly as possible and shut this joker down." As if he could hear my thoughts, he quickly said, "but I have a litigation lawsuit on them, so I'm getting ready to get a big settlement." (A "litigation lawsuit", I swear that's what he called it.) The background noises at the "place he resides", sounded like some damn homeless shelter. There was cursing and yelling.......gimme my cigarette mufucka........fuc you nigga.........ass......shit....damn.......bitch.

Then Mr. Crushed Ankle had the nerve to say he's looking for a Proverbs 31 woman, and asked if I could identify with that. I told him I know what the scripture says, I comprehend it, but I'm not that chick. Mind you, I think I possess the spirit of what the Proverbs 31 woman embodies, but I was so pissed that this gimpy, unemployed, probably shelter livin' ignorant bastard felt he was in a position to question me - I decided to be the opposite of whatever the hell he wanted. I excused myself from his attempt to teach me Bible 101 and bid him good night and good life.

I am exhausted people. It shouldn't be this hard. I've discovered there are two types of men on dating sites. The first group are not eligible and sometimes not fun to look at. The are not interested in having a serious relationship, they are only interested in the physical, and the site is a good way to get some ass. The second group are eligible and often handsome. When they joined the dating site their intent was to find someone to have a serious relationship with. However, after they too saw the bevy of available ass there is on line, they changed their minds. They decided to emulate the first group and just get the ass. After all it's easier.

Guys, I'm exhausted. Uncle! I've had enough. I like men much less than when I started this serial dating thing. And it's not worth it.



West said...

He didn't set off any flags on my end, but that could just be my gender and naiveté.

I guess he set off your b.s. detector.

Can't blame you for listening to your instincts.

Good luck.

TDJ said...

Aww Angie! You have been really catching some bad ones.

LOL @ "that's when I shattered my knee ankle and I'm on Social Security". Ha ha! Run girl, RUN!

Yeah, maybe it's time to give the GDS a rest. What happened to the old fashioned way of meeting a dude at the gas station? :)

James Burnett said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! OK, I'm sorry Angie. I had to get that out of my system.

Where are these guys comin' from?

Sorry I didn't respond to your post asking advice the other day. I was swamped w/the in-laws.

My best advice if you decide to test the swirly waters is to cut him off immediately if he's too much of an apologist and cut him off immediately if he starts to ask you stupid questions that start with "Why do black people..."
You don't want some dude who tries to impress you by how much he doesn't like other white people. It's too contrived. And the stupid questions thing? Well, that needs no explanation, other than it means he's likely not interested in you as much as he is bragging rights that he is a "diverse-minded" person.

Otherwise, give him a shot. Maybe he's deep enough that he loves and embraces your outside but wants to deeply connect with you on the inside.

When I met my wife I wasn't planning on marrying a white woman. Never even crossed my mind. But I guarantee you if I had learned I was just the latest in a long line of black dudes she had gone out with, that first date would have ended quickly and I would have cut her off. I wasn't trying to be anyone's hobby.

Angie said...

West - Shattered anything and Social Security = goodbye sir! : )

TDJ - Girl I'm checking the gas stations because I can't take anymore!

James - Thanks man! You need to just get on your grind and find me a man. I think you should do an article about it. Maybe we can spin it into my own reality show.
We can call it "Get Angie!" : )