What I Learned In School Today

At the ripe old age of 39 I'm pursuing a college degree. It's been twenty years since I experienced college as teenager, and I thought things were wierd then. The world was strange and new to me then, new people new ideas......But, the world continues to be a strange place.

Here's what I learned in school today.

My instructor can have me and my classmates write our full names on a sheet of paper, stand in front of a wall holding said paper in front of us, and take our picture. Allegedly, so that he can view the pics later to learn our names. Hmmm.......

A student can bring three pounds of sliced turkey to class and eat it from plastic wrap with his fingers.

A student can attend a lecture drunk out of her skull. She can also laugh and cry loudly during said lecture.

An instructor can wrap a scarf around her neck twice, and pull on the ends strangling herself as she lectures.

An instructor can call his sister a "trifling bitch tramp" in class and it's fine.

An instructor may not be able to speak English, however he can teach a political science course and pronounce the word democratic as dem-ock-cra-tick.

Students may step out into the street in front of oncoming cars because, they are students and they have the right of way.

A student can purchase a book for $264.00, and sell it back to the book store at the end of the quarter for $3.44.

Thong underwear can be worn to class with very low cut jeans, so that the students sitting behind the wearer can gawk at the thong for the duration of the class.

Only two college students have proper shoes, the rest will be wearing flip flops.

When you fail a class you get an "E".


I have a daughter going off to college next year. I wish I didn't know what I know about college.