Monday, July 03, 2006

I'm Rich Bitch!

The level of broke frustration I'm feeling right now is too intense to describe. So what do broke people do after they've done all they could do? i.e made various payment arrangements, figured out late fees and said, "well, my credit can't get much worse." We fantasize about having shit loads of money. I mean Oprah-Bill Gates-Trump kind of money. So I think about winning the lottery.

The funny thing about my money fantasies is how my family and the people around me would be effected. I'm easy, I'd just like to travel and have a few nice things. For the most part to be able to live how and where I want to would be enough for me. But here's the thing. While I'm planning an elaborate laundry room with a flat screen t.v., cable, table for folding, and refrigerator, my family and friends will have other plans. Namely, Baby Girl, My Kiddo and Spunky. They are on some serious ghetto craziness. Here are a few things they would want.

Baby Girl (said with her own mouth in response to my offer to travel the world with me) wants a "grill", yep a grill for her teeth. In fact she said she wanted a few in different colors. She said she will be unable to travel with me because she will be driving down Ames Boulevard at 10 miles per hour. When asked what she wanted to drive she said, a bad car with spinning rims, pulling a boat and jet skis. In rural Louisiana this girl wants jet skis. She cannot swim but she wants to pull around jet skis. She also want to hollow out two 60 carat diamonds and make sunglasses out of them. Imagine that sight in a car next to you at the stop light.

My Kiddo would have diamond studded head scarfs, diamond studded Bootsy Collins glasses. She too would like a grill. Designer clothes and shoes were her next request.....along with a private jet.

Spunky is a "closet ghetto girl", and agrees with Baby Girl on the purchase of grills for all. She too would like designer clothes, jewelry, shoes and her favorite a nice ride, a Mercedes SL 500 drop top , midnight blue with cream interior to be exact. Yes, she had thought about that one for a minute.

Tipsy, would travel with me extensively, but would leave when we begin to get fitted for our platinum rainbow grills. She is too prissy for that.

I would like to say I too am to prissy, but I would pose for one picture with a grill on because Baby Girl would force me (she bosses me around). Yes she would boss me with my money as well.


Carla Lacy said...

There is nothing wrong with Grills. :) You can't wear them all the time but when you tryin' to be supa fly, a grill is a must. Don't forget the gator sandals to match. Thanks!

Hope said...

ummm...what's a grill? I'm confused. :)

Angie said...

Hope, a grill or "front" is uhm, well its a this thing made out of gold, silver or platinum which is worn over the teeth. It's supposed to be decorative (but I don't think so). I'll see if I can find a picture for you. said...

Well, I guess nothing is wrong with being ghetto divaish. But when you play that lottery and win, like the thief next to Jesus on the cross say, "Remember Me, Ohhh Lawd! Remember Me!"

Angie said...

Tiny - I can always count on you to add ignorance to existing ignorance, and I love it!

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