Pumpkin came to town to visit this weekend. Well, actually on Thursday.....It is now Sunday evening. I'm on the sofa typing away and pumpkin is on the other side of the room (in my t.v. watching chair) watching the NBA Championship. He was "bumped" from his flight earlier this morning and won't be able to fly out until tomorrow or possibly Tuesday. Okey Doggone Dokey, I think one of the reasons Pumpkin and I get along so well is because we separated by nearly a thousand miles most of the time. Which must be the reason he does not know I sit in that chair and watch Law and Order every Sunday night damn it!
Let me be honest with you. It's not him, it's me. I'm no longer accustomed to all of this "together" time. My heart is willing, but the rest of me is resistant. My my eyes roll at him without my permission. My lips smack on their own. It's nuts because I know I'm going to miss him as soon as he's gone.
I have this residual pooh-pooh in my head from previous relationships. Mary J. Blige said it best, "I got all this baggage with me.....". For instance, I went out for a while to visit with some friends this evening and pumpkin stayed in. I was having a good time, laughing, talking and eating, when suddenly I had a horrible thought. What if he was changing my furniture around or something! Oh hell no! Let me get my purse and get home before he completely takes over my shit......Bye all ! Gotta go! This man has no interest in moving my furniture around or taking over my life for that matter. But here I am. Trying to be a couple at damn near 40 is a trip.
Isn't it amazing how even when you know you are being an absolute loon you still can't shake it? You just mosey on in "loondom" until you can do better.
I'm try trying to do better.