I was 22 when I had my daughter. I thought I knew every damn thing. Though I was very responsible for 22, I didn't know half the stuff I thought I knew. For starters, I didn't know myself. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't know what I wanted from a man (that didn't stop me from getting married that year too.) I didn't know my worth and I didn't know how much God loved me.
My beautiful daughter turned 21 yesterday, which forces me to look back at my 21st year.
She is pretty much doing what I was doing when I was 21. I was attending college, working and I had a serious boyfriend. Money for school was scarce, I didn't like my job and my relationship with my boyfriend was rocky. Then the following year I dropped out of college got pregnant and married. Just like that. What a difference a year made! I was divorced a few years later and it took me nearly twenty years to return to college and I still have not graduated. As they say, herein lies the rub.
I want so much more for my daughter. So much more. I want her to make decisions that are in her best interest - decisions that are based on her knowledge of her worth and knowing herself. It takes some of us longer than others to aquire that kind of self-knowledge and self-value. I don't want it to take her as long as it took me to get it.
So, I worry, and I pray, and I talk to her CONSTANTLY. That's all I know to do. I try to impress upon her how much difference a year can make in her life and how one desision can affect the rest of her life . But, she's 21. She thinks she knows everything, just like I did. That scares the hell out of me and makes my heart heavy.
All I can do is what I've been doing and continue to pray that her 22nd and subsequent years will be well spent, productive and happy.