What Kind Of Uniform Is That ?

Saturday night I decided I'd catch the early service at church. In preparation I pulled a "nice" shirt out of the closet, and a pair of jeans from the dirty clothes hamper. I saw that the jeans had a baby
puke spot on the left leg. No problem, I can take them to the IBC in the morning. That's the Ironing Board Cleaners. You just wipe the spot with a towel on the ironing board. I'm sure the mothers out there know what I'm talking about.

Sunday morning I over slept a little bit, but no problem, I laid my clothes out the night before right? All I had to do was take a shower, iron my clothes and hit the road right?

I took a quick shower and headed to the ironing board. I performed the IBC and started ironing the jeans. Upon flipping them over I noticed there was baby puke on the other pant leg as well. Eff me! So, I IBC'd the other leg too. When I picked up the shirt to iron it I noticed it looked like it'd been worn. So, I gave it the "sniff test", and sure enough there was the aroma of "Yes, I have been worn, and no, you did not wash me!" Wait, it gets better - no, worse! I had worn the shirt to work right before I found out I was pregnant, and apparently hung it back up in the closet, sans laundering. I became sick and stopped working soon after that. That was about a year and a half ago.

So, off to church I went, wearing my "Motherhood has kicked my entire ass" uniform. Yep, I proudly lifted my hands in praise while wearing a 18 month aged musty shirt, Similac stained jeans, no earrings and sandals which showcased my ashy toes. Hallelujah anyhow!