I saw a pimp yesterday. Up close and personal. This was my first live sighting. I hope it was my last.
So, I’m sitting near a huge window at Panera. I like to sit near the window so I can people watch when I get tired of reading. This particular Panera is at Easton mall. Not exactly a “pimp spot”, so you can imagine my surprise when I looked up from my book and saw a Pimp! There he was in all his glory. If you’re wondering how I know he’s a pimp – let me lay it out for you. He had on a cream fedora with a red band, eyeglasses that I can only describe as “pimp shades”, the ones with rhinestones covering the entire frame(ya’ll know what I’m talkin’ bout), a blood red suit with silver “squigglies” all over it, white shirt, red tie diamond studded tie pin, red and silver alligator Stacey Adams, and last but not least – A floor length cream mink coat. Now tell me what other profession requires this uniform? I know! Pimping!
He was a nice looking middle aged man with salt and pepper gray hair. He looked like he could be the head deacon at church or something. You know, sans the pimp get-up. Mr. Pimp’s ego complimented his royal gear, and he didn’t seem to like me gawking at him with my mouth agape. So, he beckoned for his “driver”…….yep driver, to open his car door. They were in some kind of huge SUV. Needless to say it was glistening black, all kitted up and flossy. He slid in and they pulled away….heading home to Pimpland.
When I composed my self (I kept looking until they drove away), I looked around to see if anybody else saw what I saw, knowing I was the only black person in the joint. Guess who they were all looking at?!? You got it. Me. And if ya’ll know me at all…..you know what I did. I laughed, and laughed and laughed!
After I stopped laughing, I thought to myself, “why didn’t he have a cane?”