Thursday, January 17, 2008

What the hell?!

A year ago Tipsy's old ass had a baby. A beautiful baby girl with the most expressive big brown eyes you ever want to see. (The Beautiful Baby Girl will henceforth be referred to as "BBG") Upon giving birth to the child Tipsy lost her mind. She transformed into "Super Diligent Mom." The woman now lives and breathes BBG. Tipsy doesn't allow her to cry, sweat, fart, or burp without parental supervision, ie. picking her up and holding her. To say that BBG is spoiled is not accurate. She only acts spoiled rotten when she is with Tipsy. When she is with Tipsy's husband she's fine. I kept her for a week while Tipsy and the hubby went on a cruise - she was fine. But when Tispy is around BBG whines, makes sad faces and generally has the woman jumping through hoops. She hits Tipsy on the head and pulls her hair and bites her frequently. Now you may be thinking this co-dependant, cut-up with your mama behavior is born of Tipsy being an older mother (40). It's not.

Take my sister for example, she's 32 and her youngest son is two years old. He is the cutest caramel colored miniature man ever. He is also - the Demon Child. The same cut-up with your mama behavior rears its ugly head with him and my sister. Now don't get me wrong, the boy is ill-tempered all of the time. But he acts a complete fool when his mother is around. He yells at her, ignores her, runs away from her,talks back to her and causes her physical harm when he gets the notion to. And my sister ain't no punk. She spanks, yells, punishes and pinches. I don't think I'm supposed to tell about the pinches, but there it is. The point is, he is unaffected by any of it.

Why do kids act like deranged animals with their mothers?

BBG cries while Tipsy prepares food for her - as if to say "Hurry up slave heffa!". When she was in my care she smiled and helped me pick out what she wanted to eat next. What the hell?!

Demon Child likes to tell folks to "shep-pup", translation, shut up. My sister slaps his lips when he tells her to shut it. But he has come up with a plan to thwart her slapping him. Now when he tells her to "shep-pup!", he slaps himself on the mouth and runs away. Again, I say what the hell?!

Well, they ain't my bad ass kids so I'm gonna go sit over here in the corner and shep-pup......

8 comments:

ebony said...

Girl I'm going sit in the corner with you. I'd catch a case if my child put his hand on me.

Angie said...

Ebony there must be something in the water.....lol

Grace said...

Okay, first let me say hahahahahhahaaaa! Shep-up! That is the funniest thing! Child, I don't know it is some kind of phenomenon. I know my kids do a degree of this, I think a lot of kids have the, "you're-the-one-I-can-act-a-fool-with" syndrome. But they are angels, or as close as their personalities allow with everyone else.

Angie said...

Grace, I have a theory. If ya'll would punch those kids in the gut one good time the problem would be solved. lol : )

West said...

Laugh out-loud funny.

Tay Lin said...

Hey did I act a fool with you like that? As a baby....I repeat as a BABY!!! lol

Angie said...

Tay lin

You didn't act out until you tuned sixteen! : )

James Burnett said...

I think it's 'cause kids have bought the hype that their mothers are more "gentle" creatures than their fathers.

My mother used to beat me like I stole something, and yet I still acted out around her 10X as much as I ever did around my dad. She'd tell me "wait till your father gets home," and I would freeze and change my act.

But with her? I was nuts.

I didn't do the math till I was in college and realized, "Damn! I could've saved myself some ass whuppins if I'd listened to moms, 'cause she went upside my had way more than pops!"