Happy Fathers Day!

Father's Day is always weird for me. I teeter back and forward between buying a card for my daddy or not. I'm from the South and we call I father's "daddy". Anyway, I'd like to buy him a card but it's difficult. It's hard to buy a card for him because of the type of daddy he has been and is now. The mushy, "Your the best dad ever!" cards don't suit him. The religious cards about the role of the father don't suit him either. That's just not the type of father he's been.

I know what, let me list 20 things I remember about my daddy growing up and you'll see what I mean.

20 Things About My Daddy

1. He dresses very well.
2. He did not like to work. He did it at times, but he did not like to do it.
3. He has smoked weed since my earliest memories until this very day. It was a common occurrence in our home. He's probably smoking weed right now.
4. He has hypertension, and has had two strokes.
5. He is handsome, and he knows it.
6. I adored him and thought he had super human powers until I was about 5.
7. He does not take shit from anyone.
8. He cheated on my mom, and had I'm not sure how many children with other women.
9. He taught me to drive, and was very patient with me.
10. He and my mom finally divorced when I was 18.
11. He always encouraged me and told me I was smart and pretty.
12. He never cursed around me.
13. He married a woman he was seeing while he was still with my mom. They are still together.
14. He taught me how to dress like a young lady when I was about 13 years old.
15. He knows a lot about women.
16. His favorite food is red beans and rice.
17. He had an aneurysm burst in his abdomen two years ago, and he nearly died.
18. He loves me and my sister very much.
19. He's much more introspective and thoughtful now that he's older.
20. He sorry for lot's of the mistakes he made in the past.

After reading the above list I'm sure you can see how it would be hard to choose a Fathers Day card for this dude. I do love him dearly don't get me wrong. But like him, I don't take shit either and I feel like it would be disingenuous for me to send him a card spouting all kinds of wishy-washy bullshit. So, I opt for a phone call. I tell him happy father's day. And I'm sincere.

After all, I haven't found a card that says, "You were a shitty father a while back, but you're better now, although I'm fucked up and scarred for life from it, Happy Father's Day, you bastard. I love you." If you see a card with those particular sentiments let me know.