Friday, July 20, 2007

Public Service Announcement # 698

Gentlemen, when pursuing a mate/friend/lover on an on-line dating site:

Do not say that you are "light-skinned, with curly/wavy hair". That shit sounds so ridiculously gay and womanish!

Do not post pictures with every single one of your fraternity brothers. Ya'll steppin' and shit! Grow the fuck up! Immediately!!

Do not post pictures of you kids/grand kids/nieces/nephews...........ever! Those damn kids are not looking for a damn date. Your retarded ass is! Post pictures of yourself idiot!

Do not post pictures of you in a hot tub, in bed, in the bathroom mirror. Think about it, we can see the reflection of the chick who took the picture in the mirror behind your stupid ass!

Do not post pictures of yourself and a woman with her face cut out. We can see her arm draped over your shoulder. We see her hair right beside your face dude! Lawd have mercy......sad sack of shits!

Do not introduce yourself as a Reverend So&So, say you want a virtuous woman and then go on to describe your favorite sexual positions. You have to be kidding me!

Do not misspell words! It's soul, not sole. It's niece not neese. Spell check is wonder - try it!

Do not post pictures of your house, your car, your boat and whatnot! Man either that ain't really your shit or you think you can use it to snag a woman. Ohh, but you don't want a gold digger do you? Jackass!

Do not continue to wear your hair in locks if the hair in the center of your head is absent! Same goes for far reaching receding hairlines. Cut that shit off - anything is better than the foolywang you are rocking now!

Do not post numerous pictures of your pets! Do you think your pet is more interesting, or more attractive than you? If you have a bunch of pets .........let's just say that may be the reason you do not have a mate. Stupido!

Do not imply sending a "flirt" to you is unacceptable. Man please! Just be happy someone spoke to your ass! Dingleberry having bastid!

Do not enter "Legally Separated" as your marital status. What the hell is that? Either you're married or you're not! Pick one nucca!

Do not post pictures with teddy bears, Kappa canes or furry pimp coats. That shit is just wrong on so many levels! Did you pass this shit by a friend before you posted it? NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn!

Do not even try to date if you have more than three kids! If you are any kind of responsible you're going to be paying child support for a long damn time. You can't afford a woman. Wait till them kids is grown!

This public service announcement has been brought to you by Dating Site Blues, Inc., Tired of This Shit, LLC., and viewers like you. We appreciate your continued support here at Angie Says.


Mahogany Brown said...

Aww Mama know baby, Mama knows!!! I started my blog because of the nonsense I was running into on those dating sites!! You forgot to mention that they should stop posting 10 pics of the same non-smiling expression!!! Smile damit!! Let me see you're teeth aint jacked!! Looking like a Source or XXL cover model reject! You aint a rapper!! Oh and don't get me started on the ones with many pics with licka bottles!!! Freaking drunkards!!

West said...

*is glad he's not light-skinned with wavy/curly hair*

Angie said...

@ M. Boogie, girl you get the ones with the "I'm the killer!" picture too?! What about the ones with a picture of thier mothers? What the hell is that about? :O

@ West, LOL! I don't mind that he is lightskinnedwithwavy/curlyhair - What I do mind is him describing himself that way. That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Plus, I can see his skin on the damn picture with the pimp coat. I don't need him to follow it up with the whole Creole introduction shit. Anyway, light skinned wavy/curly hair is out! We like'em black and bald now! ;)

Mahogany Brown said...

I'll drink to that!

Man Can said...

That was just too cute and hilarious! I loved it!