Okay, Where's The Camera?

Is it just me or is the devil trying to kill me? So many things have been going wrong lately that I constantly think I'm on Punked. I keep looking around for the camera's and Ashton Kutcher. Here's a look at my life of late. Our (me and the people in my head) thoughts are in red.

First, Pumpkin has turned into a scary, can't/won't keep his word, punk, weak sister! I know we shouldn't have trusted his ass. Damn! Bitch stop wastin' time. We do just fine with the "toys" and the porn, that's your ass wantin' a damn boyfriend. Focus on your studies! Fuck them nuccas! Damn!

Then, a nurse from my doctor's office called me at work with scary news, and and gave me an appointment to come into the office and look into the scariness further. The appointment was set for a hundred years away, and the nurse promised to mail me some reading material about the scariness. Mail it?! Bitch what? Wait what did you say is wrong with me again? Um. Why did you call us at work with this shit. Mail it? Bitch, you better slow down. Speak real slow. Read the freaking pamphlet to me over the phone.........Lord, what's my sister's number. I'm gonna die. Sob, sob cry, cry....... use the offices long distance, fuck it! We might be dead by the time they figure it out.

Then, MyKiddo had every last one of her wisdom teeth removed, and my co-pay was 200.00. So, I did what any self respecting mother would do. Wrote the check. I wrote the check and gave it to the secretary with a smile. Yep, like the money was really in the bank, and not earmarked for another bill. Oh shit. Where am I going to get the money to cover this? Oh shit. Well, take care of Mykiddo now, and we'll worry about that later.


Then, I called my doctors office back, scheduled an appointment that was not one hundred years away. Looked up the scariness on the net and became a bit more scared. Oh-oh. We have to study for that math mid-term. We do not have time for this shit. Focus bitch! Will ya'll shut the fuck up - let me think. Now,did anyone in my family die from cancer? Did anyone have cervical cancer?

Then, I went to that appointment, got the scariness tested, and was told it would take 3 to 4 weeks for the results to come back. You have to be kidding me. No results take 3 to 4 weeks to come back in 2006. Who the hell are you sending the specimen to, a lab on the moon? Lawd, maybe I need to go to another doctor.


Then Mykiddo asked me if we were still going home for Thanksgiving. She is really homesick. So I told her I would see what I could do, and that I would not be able to go, but I would send her home. Oh really, how are you going to pull that off. Are you planning a robbery? You know you won't last a minute in jail. Shit!

Then, the nurse called me at work. Again! The test results came back. I need to come back into into the office. I have to have a procedure done to cut the scariness out. What does this mean? I don't think I/we can deal with this right now. Let's just do the "denial" thing. Coast. Push, push, coast.

Then, I started a project to make some extra money. This project requires that I use my hands. I was one fourth way into the project, when my arms became swollen right above the wrists. There were also red welts on the swollen areas. Yep, the devil is trying to kill to me. Fuck it! Take 2 benedryl and go to sleep now! Maybe we'll wake up in heaven.

Then, I went to work the next day, with my swollen, red welt ridden forearms. Shit!

Then, I got home from work and saw my unfinished project, that I need to sell, because I need the money. I took one of MyKiddo's left over codeine pills and continued to work on the project. Shoot, we need money girl, do what you got to do. We'll probably die soon, so who needs wrists and arms.