Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I Repeat, We Are Not Gay.............
In the August edition of the Oprah magazine there is an in depth article on Oprah and her relationship with her friend Gayle. They talk about there friendship and things they've been through through out their 30 years of friendship. Oprah and Gail firmly dispel the myth that they are lovers. They add, if they were gay they would not keep it a secret because nothing is wrong with being gay, they simply are not gay.
The notion that two people of the same sex could be so close and not have a sexual relationship is hard for some to fathom. The same notion is not so hard for those of us who have been blessed with such friendships to believe.
I have been best friends with three people for most of my teenage and adult years. Tipsy, Industrious, and Urban Red.
I met Tipsy in high school. She was the drum major and I was on the dance team. We became closer in college and roomed together for a couple of years in Baton Rouge. We have been largely inseparable since our second year at LSU. We talk everyday, usually more calls than one. We can and have talked about everything underneath the sun. We know each other inside out, quirks and all. She's a neat freak, and I'm nuts. (I'm sure she has a longer list of quirks for me, but let's just go with "nuts" for now.) Now we're taking the "have a baby when you're 100 years old" ride together. Tipsy balances me off so to speak. Our personalities compliment each other and we get along like an old married couple, sans the old married couple sex.
Industrious and I met at dance team tryouts when I was 16. It was her second year on the team and she was very sure of herself and cocky. I, on the other hand was unsure of myself and very nervous. I don't remember how we hooked up with each other that day, but she has told me she remembers I was "whining". That kind of comment is what I expect of Industrious, because she is a get-up-and-get-it-done sister. She does not waste time complaining or feeling sorry for herself. She is a supportive cheerleader and a gentle chider when she doesn't think I'm moving ahead fast enough. I think some of her has rubbed off on me, I'm a lot more confident than that 16 year old girl, in part because of her friendship and support. I hope to be more like her when I grow up. She works as many jobs as necessary, takes care of her husband, kids and home, and make it look easy. Industrious has mellowed a bit in her older age (40). I think the kids did to her. I'd also like to think my mushy ways have rubbed off on her a little bit too.
Urban Red ! I met Urban Red my senior year in high school. This girl came into my life like a whirlwind. We became fast friends in spite of our differences. She was urban and I was rural. She was flashy and I was subdued. Her life was fast paced and action packed, compared to my unexciting teenage existence. But we clicked, and I learned. Urban Red was the friend I went "missions" with. [For those of you who think going on a mission includes winning over new heathen souls to Christ in some distant place, let me hip you. If you have ever dropped of your cheating girlfriend at a guys house, been picked up by a friend when you were cheating, took a trip with a guy who wanted to have sex with you and you brought your friend along to cock-block, or if you were the cock-blocking friend, you too have been on a "mission". ] I had a lot of fun with Urban, I regret some of it, but it was fun at the time. She and I talked on the phone several times a day, mostly about nothing........sometimes just keeping each other company. We were two peas in a pod. Until. Until we went into business together. I will spare you the long, sad story. I'm sorry to say I haven't talked to UR in over two years, and sometimes I miss her.
I think most women feel free to have and keep very close girlfriends. Men, for whatever reason do not have the same luxury. If two men talked to each other on the phone several times a day, and hung out together constantly they would be looked at suspiciously. It's just our culture.
I'm thankful for the opportunity to be Gayle to my Oprahs.