Serial Dating Continued

All I can say about The Ghetto Dating Site (TGDS) is it's a very bad place. Don't go there and don't let your friends go there. The majority of the men there are looking for one thing. Yep, the kitty-kat!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at them for looking for the kitty-kat, just be honest about it. Instead of being forthcoming about their intentions they spout all these ideals about wanting a woman who is Christian, humble, loving, family oriented, blah, blah, blah....... In reality what they really want is a sex partner, and they want it immediately. I just don't understand men. They make things much harder than they have to be. There are plenty of women who just want to have sex too. If men would state their intentions clearly and honestly they could get a lot more hassle free play from women who are looking for the same thing they are. I guess that makes too much sense. Plus men like to think they tricked you into giving it up. Silly so and so's.

Then there are the old as Moses men on the ghetto site. And guess what! They are white. Old ass white men, in their 70's, looking for younger black women. Is this some type of trend? Did I miss something? There's one very persistent one who sends me lots of messages. I don't respond because it's all too odd, and I might throw up. No, thank you Mr. Seventy Five Year Old Geezer.

Meanwhile, The Not Ghetto At All Site (TNGAAS) is not a lot better. They ask you sixty five million questions to get to know your personality type, your love type, your blood type, yada yada. So you would think their matches would be pretty good, right? Wrong! They have matched me with 3 or 4 ministers and missionaries. White ministers and missionaries. One of whom lived in some place like Peru! Give me a break! I limited my matches to 300 miles away. I live in Columbus, Ohio. I indicated I prefer tall men, at least taller than me, I'm 5'4. Why do they send me matches with men that are no taller than 5'6 ? If you've been reading this blog for a minute you know I am not the one to be following some midget missionary across Peru or any damn where else for that matter. There is something wrong with this picture. I need my money back immediately, ASAP, like right the eff now!

I did meet one gentleman worthy of my company on TGDS. I was a little leery about responding to him at first because he is an African, and I had more than a few preconceived notions about Africans. You know, do they want a green card, is this some type of scheme, will he have six wives...... He too was persistent, but unlike the old dude he kept it cool. So we chatted on line, talked on the phone and then we met. Yep. That's all I'm going to say about that for now. : )

Until next time....let the serial dating commence!

Ode to JJJB

I call him Papa. I don't remember how I started calling him that, but he likes it, so I call him papa. His skin is the color of sweet dark chocolate. He has beautiful brown eyes that smile and dance when he's happy. Those same brown eyes look somehow deeper set and sad when he is sleepy. He imagines himself a buff body builder when in fact his frame is slender and wiry.

He can get anything he wants from me. He rules me completely. He knows I live to see him smile and he takes full advantage of it.

He has four names, more names than anyone else I know. And still with all his names I call him Papa.

Serial Dating - You ain't gotta lie Craig !

I met him on the "almost ghetto site". His pics looked okay. Well, the one where he was oiled up and in a stripper pose was questionable but the pickin's are slim, so I gave him a chance anyway.

Let me just say, people tend to say fewer stupid things when their sole mode of communication is typing messages on-line. When they have the opportunity to speak over the telephone the stupidity seems to flow like a river. Maybe if people had time to read and edit their comments before said comments leapt off their lips - the world would be a different place.

To make a long story short - He Lied! And if you all know anything about me, you know I can not abide a liar. (Well, if you didn't know, now ya know.) He lied about his religion. ??? What the hell is that about. If you are inclined to lie about your religion there is a problem. Are you ashamed? Or are you really practicing that religion? Or are you just crazy? I'm thinking you are the latter.

The religion he denied for the length of our first two conversation is Muslim. On the third conversation when I asked him about the church he attends (he identified himself as "Christian" on his profile.) he said he should go to "so & so" classes more but he doesn't. So & so = Islamic words that I am unfamiliar with! So, I questioned him about the so & so classes. He was evasive, and did a semantic dance that pissed me straight off........so I say "Yeah, okay but are you a Muslim?". He answered in the affirmative. What the....! He said He hoped I didn't think ill of him because he didn't tell me sooner. Like it was just a small omission and not an obvious deception. No padnah! I don't think so! I tell him I am offended. He tells me this often happens, and that people have misconceptions about Muslims, and that he is not a terrorist, and that he does not sell bean pies, or wear bow ties. At this point the monkeys in my head are dancing and singing. What?!? I don't think all Muslims are terrorists, or sell bean pies. I don't even know if I care if he sells bean pies or not, as long as he can pay his bills, and I like bow ties on some men.

Him being a Muslim was not the problem. The problem was he lied about being a Christian before "admitting" to being a "practicing Orthodox Sunni Muslim". Both quotations indicate his words, not mine.

I had only one thing to say to him before his dismissal. Assalam alaikum!

Dual Dating 101

So, finals are over and I have a few weeks off before the next quarter starts. I've decided to use said two weeks to get my dating life jump started. It has been as dead as a door nail!

The first step in this endeavor has been to hit up a few on line dating sites. To say the least - it has been a trip. I've gotten responses from the looniest people on earth. I kid you not. One white gentleman is especially enamored with me, at the ripe old age of 75! Okay, I'm attracted to older men but damn! Then there are the Africans. No, real Africans, from Africa. Sir, I am not coming to Africa, nor can I offer you a "green card". (Well not for free anyway) What is going on? Then there are the guys with pictures of their chests, arms, and backs in various stupid muscle man poses. I really wish they wouldn't do that.

My on-line "hit" stats looks a little like this: 8 "jerky jerks" to 1 "might be okay guys" But I'm having fun. I like the attention.

But I digress. Here's what I need help with. In my plan to find my soulmate, or just someone I like enough to put up with and vice versa, I'm trying a new strategy. Well, it's new to me. The concept of dating a few people at once. At least 4. See, that way I won't get "caught up" on just one. I'll get to go out and have a little fun, and I won't be in any hurry cuz there's always the other 3. One of my friends suggested I push the number up to 5 and only sleep with the 5th one. He'll just be the sex guy, which will prevent me from sleeping with the other 4 too soon. It's a good plan in theory, but I don't know if I can get all of that done in a few weeks. SO. Here's what I need from you guys. Give me some of your tips on just dating. Not getting too caught up. How do guys do that shit? I was never good at it. I always start picturing my self as Mrs. So and So, on the 2nd date. I don't say it out loud - but I do think it. I need some tips on taking it light and easy.

Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Give me what you got. Guys how do you manage not to give a shit until you are good and ready? Let me in on it - Pleeeeeze.

I'm Back - Until She Kills Me

Hi Blog Family - Just checking in to say I'm okay. I had a bit of surgery to excise the scary thing I spoke about a few blogs ago. So' I've been home for a couple of days on the recoup. Except for feeling like a splintery log has been jammed up my vajajay - I'm fine. I'm sure that's too much info for some of my readers, but what the hell.

Anywhoo, let me just add that the 17 year old I gave birth to is trying to kill me. Yes, I think she is plotting my demise. It would give her great joy if I ran out into traffic and got hit by a Mack truck. She probably thinks she could live forever off my insurance money. I don't know what it is lately, but we stay on each other's nerves. Pray for me.

P.S. If anything happens to me ya'll know who did it. Don't let her get off!