Grey Goose for Thanksgiving

This month I used half of my bill money to do something very important. I went home to New Orleans for Thanksgiving!

Mykiddo and I drove. Let me restate that. I drove, she rode. The drive takes 14 hours, not including gas, pee, and rest stops. On the way going we the adrenaline was flowing and we were pumped. No one knew we were coming - and we couldn't wait to surprise them. I don't know how we pulled it off. I can't believe we kept it a secret, but it was worth it.

We surprised my sister and her kids first, then my mom and the dog, then Tipsy, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins. I even surprised my ex-husband. (The second one, he and I are good friends, not the first one. If I surprise the first one there will be a pistol involved.) I did all the stuff you do when you go home, eat gumbo, drink various alcoholic beverages, visit the French Quarter, the French Market and Cafe Du Monde.

The trip was just the "fix" I needed. I got enough hugs and kisses from my nephew to last for at least 4 months. My niece was so happy to see us she cried. That warmed my heart. Tipsy is so pregnant! She looks like she's going to pop! I know she can't wait to have a drink. I don't see much breast feeding in her future. LOL

I was flirted with on a daily basis. I love the "act right" I get in the N.O. The men there love a fluffy woman, and they don't mind letting you know you have what it takes. I sure did need that - I wanted to bring some of them back to Ohio with me.

I needed this visit and I'm glad I went. Now, how am I going to pay these bills?

They're All Married

Everyone I know is married. My sister is married, my friends are married, my aunts are married, my uncles are married, my co-workers are married, and my neighbors are married.

However, these people are not very good role models for me. I talk to three or more of these married people on any given day and here's what I hear; I hate him, he stinks, he want to have sex all the time, he won't go to work, he doesn't want to have sex, his penis is too long, his penis is too short, he works too many hours, he works too many hours, he's fat, he has a big head, he won't let me smoke weed, I don't like his kids.............

They say a few nice things too, but mostly not. So why would I want to subject myself to what they're going through. I don't know why either - but I do.

Mirror Mirror on the wall......is that you Jackass?

You attract what you are.
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So, this is to say, that you have the characteristics of those you draw to you. In my quest to learn from my past relationships, and utilize that knowledge in my new relationship(s), I did some thinking. I started with what I know I want. Here is what I came up with. (Not listed in any particular order.)

I want a man that is emotionally, physically and mentally available.

I want a man who is financially stable, and responsible.

I want a man who is smart and funny.

I want a man who is a Christian.

I want a man that is tall, dark, handsome (not cute), and a bit thick.

I want a man to love me unconditionally.

I want a man who is a hardworker.

I want a man who enjoys eating my cooking.

I want a man who enjoys traveling and reading.

I want a man who likes to snuggle, and watch television with me.

I want a man who can fix things around the house.

I want a man who is passionate.

I want a man who enjoys talking with me.

I want a man who misses me when I'm away.

I want a man who does the yard work.

I want a man who thinks I'm smart and funny.

I want a man who likes the way my skin feels and tells me so.

I want a man who does not have feet from hell.

I want a man who can't get enough of me.

I want a man who smells good.

I want a man who keeps his word.

I want a man who likes to slow dance with me.

I want a man with nice lips.

I want a man who likes to kiss and is good at it.

I want a man who is committed to me.


Now with said list of "wants" prepared, I went back and highlighted the qualities/characteristics listed that I have. Hmmmm.

If the saying, "You attract what your are." is true, I should have a man with at two thirds of the characteristics that I have. Not the jack-ass parade better known as my love life.

What the hell is the problem?

See, that is why I don't like or believe in self help books, inspirational tapes, well wishers, optimistic people, and people who generally think that if your correct your shit, someone with equally corrected shit will come along and the two of you will live happily ever after.

NONSENSE! BALDERDASH! PHOOEY! COW PUCKS! JERK BABBLE!

However, I am one of those people. So, if you know someone who fits the bill, holla at me.